Monday, June 15, 2009

a crash

OK, so 3 weeks in and one week prior to the end of this adventure, i crashed.
I just don't understand why is everyone expecting that any expense comes about- I should be responsible for it.
Why is everyone assuming that i bathe in money and that my one and only mission here is to spend dollars.
Because I'm white? Because I live in NY? Becuase how it was with Robert's teachers. for which there might've been a big budget?
Is t because I am generous and share what I have, that now everyone just keeps informing me how much I should pay?
This morning, before I finished my breakfast (for which I had to call for and remind, even though I said i need nothing but a piece of fruit and a coffee, but that I DO INDEED NEED that much. And every morning.), so we're talking by 8 AM, I had 5 poeple come to talk to me.
Will you take more lessons?
Will you buy my designs? And sell them in New York for me. I know that Americans like african things.
Will you get me something nice from ACCRA?
You need to leave your cell phone for me.
You Ipod.
Finally - the amplifier for the perfomance will cost you 50 Ghana Cedis.
OK, now, wait a minute.
Let me rewind.
I am producing a school perfomance.
I presented a proposal to the headmaster 3 weeks ago.
I requested speakers.
No mention of renal fee - just an enthusiastic agreeing.
2 weeks later, after I have created about 30 minutes of music and sound pieces with students and teachers, which I cannot present wiothout amplification, I am informed that that will cost ME rougly $50.
So I can choose not to do it, and not present a month worth of work.
Or I should take even MORE money from the bank tomorrow, (I ran out of $$$ becuse last week I bought color printer for the school. OK, I needed to use it too. The school needs it. The kids learn to use technology. I will want to have flyers and pictuers and programs printed. OK so I forgot that I didn't by a new printer for MYSELF, that I still use an old piece of shit so that I could save to be able to travel here, and give. give. give... And so I did. I recieved no thank yous. It was just assumed to be normal.) - so tomorrow I should take more cash so that I am able to complete my project. And I could even do that. But you need to tell me in advance, ask me if I can, not fucking treating the whole thing as if I am doing you a favor. "I'll do it for you" - he says (leaving the name out for now). No, I am doing it for you brother. I am teaching your kids some hot new shit and have them show it and share it get them to realize how fucking tallented they are, instead of being beaten all the time and treated like, DON'T MAKE ME USE THAT WORD!!!
Last night I suggested we get togehter and party before I leave.
a minute later, P was making an estimte of how much money I should put asside so that I can by the food and drinks for the entire village.
Ever since I came here, ever single night I had a drink in the village bar - anyone that was with me would order on my account.

OK - gotta stop, Chirty is here, getting my hair done, treating myself today!

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